If you want a really great coffee experience, you have a lot of options, from local specialty micro-roasts to international gourmet coffees from obscure places with exotic names. But a genuine coffee addict is not so picky. To a coffee addict, the caffeine is the thing, and it has to be kept at a certain level in the bloodstream by hook or by crook. If you can get your hands on some organic fair trade estate-grown Kenya AA, then you'll be happy. If you have to use a Citronella candle to heat up instant coffee in a Campbell's soup can, then so be it.

I have tasted such coffee, and let me tell you- if you have ever had a more repulsive cup of coffee, I will concede my title, but I am personally convinced that I have fully earned the status of Most Dedicated Coffee Drinker In The World.

Here's how it happened. I was going on a camping trip, so I brought some Sanka. I also brought some Campbell's Soup for my dinner. When I got to the campsite, the ground was soaked, and all the potential firewood was dripping wet. There was no possible way to get a fire going, so I ended up spending a miserable night hunched over on a wet log in front of a Citronella candle to repel mosquitoes and keep my hands warm until the dawn.

First I got hungry, but there was no campfire to warm my soup with. So I opened it up and drank it cold. Then I started to get tired, but there was no ground dry enough to lie down on, so I was forced to stay awake. I put some of my water in the empty soup can, rigged it up over the Citronella candle until it started to steam a little, then used my Sanka to make some coffee. So what did it taste like?

It tasted like caffeinated Citronella mixed with Campbell's soup. It kept me awake and I got home safe. I'm not proud of what I did, but... actually, I am. I am the Most Dedicated Coffee Drinker In The World, and that is a legitimate cause for pride.